I Ain’t Exactly Thrilled (2.0)

Note: There’s a less-PC version of this that I originally wrote in October 1982, when I was having a particularly difficult day/week/semester. This has been called the perfect punk song by Rob McCuen, a friend of mine. Well, at least that’s what he told me privately and he may or may not have been serious.

Everyone’s a pain in the butt, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

They all nag at me, they all rag at me, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Everything sucks like poop, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I can’t get a girl, I can’t get a job, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Everyone tells me what to think, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

They think they’re right, they think they’re bright, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Whom to eat with and whom to sleep with, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Expressing opinions before checking the facts, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Two-faced candidates to the left and right, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

They all lie to me; they should say bye to me, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Everyone hates everyone, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed.

The guy down the block has a boat and a dock, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

So, all I’m gonna say is…

Ram it up yours

Cram it up yours

Stick it after it’s been kissed

Jam it up yours

And slam it up yours

Cause I’m so stinkin’ pissed

My boss is a crusty curmudgeon, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Workers, you know they won’t work for nothin’, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Money, money, money, money, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I don’t have a choice, I don’t have a voice, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

My wife can’t cook, the car’s in the shop, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

None of my kids will do what I say, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I’m ranting and raving about love that I’m craving, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I just realized I’m a pain in the butt, and I’m so stinkin’ pissed

So, all I’m gonna say is…

Ram it up yours

Cram it up yours

Stick it after it’s been kissed

Jam it up yours

And slam it up yours

Cause I’m so stinkin’ pissed

In case you couldn’t tell

I ain’t exactly thrilled at this particular moment

But I’ll come around … maybe

Ram it up yours

Cram it up yours

Stick it after it’s been kissed

Jam it up yours

And slam it up yours

Cause I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Ram it up yours

Cram it up yours

Stick it after it’s been kissed

Jam it up yours

And slam it up yours

Cause I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I’m so stinkin’ oh so stinkin’

I’m so stinkin’ pissed

I’m so stinkin’ oh so stinkin’

I’m so stinkin’ pissed

Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.

I’m pissed!

By Paul J. Hoffman

April 7, 2016

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