Honors and benefits

Be it known to all that Paul J. Hoffman is hereby appointed a member of the grandparents secret circle and is entitled to all the honors and benefits occurring there, too.

Signed, Little Orphan Annie. Countersigned, Pierre Andre! In ink! Honors and benefits. Already at the age of … well, okay … maybe I didn’t get a certificate signed by Little Orphan Annie herself. Heck, maybe I didn’t get a certificate at all.

But I did join the grandparents secret circle in September when Matilda Mae entered this world. And I am expecting all honors and benefits implied by my newfound position of grandeur. These honors and benefits shall include, but are not limited to, holding, playing, soothing, spoiling, and giving back to parents when necessary for Grandpa to keep his sanity.

My wife decided she wanted to be called Gramma Hoffman, so I went with Grandpa Hoffman, which seems a tad odd to me because that’s what I called my dad’s dad. My dad got labeled “Papa” by my nephew, whose attempts at “Grandpa” came out that way. So the moniker “Grandpa Hoffman” skipped a generation.

In the few short weeks that Matilda Mae has been hanging out, I’ve been reminded of the times my three daughters were born, and all the fun I had when they were young. Isn’t it comforting to know I don’t remember the less fun times?

That reminds me, we will have to bake chocolate chip cookies, find those baby/kid toys that I think survived our move to the new house, and childproof the new place. Fortunately, none of that stuff has to be done this week.